|— This is a transcribed copy of "You Are Rad". —|
|Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.|
|Previous: "You Get Me"||Next: "Just Be a Pebble"|
The episode starts off K.O. walking happily to work]
Mr. Logic: Hello there, K.O..
Potato: [Pops out of the bushes] Hi, K.O..
Pterodactyl: K.O.! K.O.!
Cool Sun: Heya, K.O..
K.O.: [Thinking] Another perfect day ahead of me at my perfect job wearing my perfect little vest and my perfectly pinned name ta—
[Enid and Rad snores. K.O. screams waking them up]
Enid: What?! What happened?!
K.O.: It’s an emergency! [Gasps] I forgot my name tag.
[Enid and Rad laughs]
K.O.: It’s not funny! Without a name tag, do I even exist? How do you define exist?
Rad: Well, I got a half-day suckers. [Throws mop and tosses his name tag to K.O.] You can borrow this while I’m gone.
K.O.: [Holds Rad’s name tag and gasps] Rad’s name tag.
Rad: See you later, jerks.
K.O.: [Hops on the counter] Enid! This is so cool! Check it out. It’s a-me, Rad! Do you even [farts] lift? [Laughs]
Enid: Hey, pretty good. Oh! [Snaps fingers and puts straws on K.O.’s hair] Ha! What do you think? [Holds mirror out]
K.O.: [Gasps] I look exactly like Rad.
Enid: No way. Rad could never be that cute.
K.O.: [Gasps] A customer. Hi. Can I help you?
[Ted Viking groans]
Foxy: No, thanks, Rad. We’re just in for a top off. [Notices the coffee spilling] Whoa! All right, big guy, let’s go.
K.O.: [Gasps intensely] Enid, did you hear what they called me? I’m Rad now.
Enid: Chill out, brush head. Those two are dumb-dumbs. There’s no way anyone else is gonna mistake you for R—.
Bell Beefer: Rad! We’ve been looking all over for you. [Bell Beefer and Mega Football Baby comes in the store]
Enid: Okay, bye. [Turns into a tree stump]
Bell Beefer: You were supposed to meet us at the arcade.
Mega Football Baby: Don’t tell me you forgot, Rad.
K.O.: [Thinking] All right, K.O., you’re finally getting an opportunity to walk a day in Rad’s patent leather boots. Of course I want to go to the arcade! Let’s get out of here, uh, dudes.
[Show scene with K.O., Bell Beefer, and Mega Football Baby in the arcade]
Mega Football Baby: Hey, Rad, want to play me in Throw a Shot?
[Pird tries to throw the bowling ball but falls onto him]
Bell Beefer: Or maybe we can have that air hockey rematch.
[The loser gets slimed in the Air Hockey game]
K.O.: Ew. Or we could play Mowing Boy 2!
Machine: Hoo-rah. Hoo-rah.
[Bell Beefer and Mega Football Baby laughs]
Mega Football Baby: For real though, Pop a Shot or air hockey?
K.O.: [Thinking] K.O. can’t play either of those games, but I’m not K.O. anymore. I’m Rad! And Rad is never limited by his decisions. I will play both.
Announcer: 3… 2… 1… Ready? Go!
[Bell Beefer hits the air hockey puck and K.O. protects his goal. The puck moves at a slow rate. K.O. slids for a round of Throw a Shot]
Mega Football Baby: About time. You’re already… [Makes a shot] losing!
[K.O. throws three bowling balls making in the net. Mega Football Baby gasps]
[Air Hockey puck still moves slow and then Mega Football Baby and K.O. compete. K.O. makes the lost shot and wins. Mega Football Baby cries. K.O. is back at the air hockey game with Bell Beefer sleep drooling]
Air Hockey Puck Dude: Oh. Ew! [Makes it in Bell Beefer’s goal]
[Bell Beefer gets slimed]
Announcer: Rad wins!
K.O.: [Jumps] Yeah! [Laughs]
Drupe: Wow, Rad, you’re great at these games. Let’s hang out later, yeah?
Mega Football Baby: Whoa! Way to go, Rad. It looks like she actually digs you.
K.O.: Wow. A new friend.
Mega Football Baby: More than friends, dude.
K.O.: [Gasps] Best friends. [Thinking] This is so fun. Exactly what I imagined it was like being Rad.
Calendar Shop Tiger: Yo, Rad, just got a new shipment of these kitten-a-day calendars you love.
K.O.: Yeah! Those calendars rule! [Thinking] Wait a sec. Didn’t Rad say…
Rad: [As a cloud bubble] The only animals I care about are sharks and bees.
K.O.: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Ginger: [Carries groceries] Rad, hope to see you at yoga again this week.
Rad: Sure, yoga strengthens your core, but core is nothing when you’ve got guns.
K.O.: Wait, I’m confused.
Gertie: Oh, Rad! [Her kids hug K.O.] I just wanted to thank you again for babysitting my kids. They can’t stop talking about you teaching them proper weight-lifting form. [Hugs K.O.] You’re such an angel! All right, kids, let’s get a move on!
K.O.: [Writes a list of “Radjectives” while thinking] Rad isn’t just some muscular jock. My mind was in a prison, but I know the truth now. Rad is… deep.
[Rad orders takeout at Weiner Kabob]
Rad: Let me see, uh, [Picks his nose] let me get five double kabobs and a large thirst blaster.
Bud: That’ll be $15.80.
Rad: Here you go, dude. [Hands Bud his card]
Bud: [Slides card and blasts receipt to Rad] Please sign. [Hands him a pen]
Rad: Get a lot of identity theft at the Wiener Kabob?
Bud: You’d be surprised.
Rad: Let’s see, how do you spell Rad again? [Chuckles] I know. I’ll just check my old trusty… [Feels that his name tag isn’t there] My name tag! It’s gone! How did this happen? [Gasps] Identity thief.
Bud: Told you, sir.
Rad: Without my name tag, I might as well not exist!
Bud: I could just take cash.
Rad: Hold on, name tag! [Rips seatbelt and kicks one of his car’s windows and climbs out] I’m a-comin’ for ya! Name tag! Name tag? [Crinkly looks over for name tags and hisses] Name tag? [Opens Neil’s mouth] Name tag? [Lifts under a rock] Name tag?
Gerald: Yes? I’m Gerald Nametag.
Rad: Where are you, name tag? It’s no use. Who are you?
K.O.: [Exits the Bodega] Rad, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.
Rad: [Sees his name tag on K.O.] Hey. Your name tag says you’re Rad. Identity thief!
K.O.: But Rad, I—
Rad: You stole my name tag!
K.O.: I’ll give it back.
Rad: Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? But I’m afraid there’s only one way to settle who the real Rad is. Rad-off!
K.O.: Talking it over.
Rad: Wait, what? No, no, we’re doing a Rad-off. You’re Rad. Should’ve known that. [The crowd sees the Rad-off starting] Welcome, everybody, to the ninth annual Rad-off. We are joined upon this hallowed ground to consecrate the one and true Radicles, for there is only one Rad.
Rad: This one and only Rad shall be determined through a contest of feats. Contest the first, belch race. [Drinks soda to get ready] [Burps which makes the cars go on fire and the alarms go off]
K.O.: [Jaw drops and drinks soda. Makes a little burp] Oh, well. Guess you won that one, Rad.
Rad: What kind of sick mind game are you trying to play here, Rad? Your burp was way faster than mine. But I’ll get you in the next round. [Shows the inventory room with the crowd] Contest the second— the lifting and arranging of crates. Now, get ready to witness crateness greatness. [Levitates the crate and pushes it to the shelf]
Rad: Your move, Rad.
K.O.: All right, get ready to witness my boxy, uh, moxy! [Runs to put the crate in the shelf real quick] No good?
Rad: No good? You didn’t even need to use your special alien beam powers to get that crate up there. It was basically the most baller thing you could’ve done.
K.O.: Cool. I keep winning. Maybe I’m really Rad after all.
Rad: Don’t get cocky yet, Rad. [Next contest is at the Bodega store] Contest the last. Rippity rap battle, dawg!
K.O.: Rap battle? Are we supposed to punch each other with rhymes?
Rad: More or less. Gimme a beat, Enid!
Enid: No, thanks.
Rad: Aw, man, come on.
Enid: [Sighs] Fine. [Puts on her DJ outfit and flips the counter to her DJ set. Plays music]
Rad: Yeah, I can work with that. All right, imposter, get ready, ‘cause this ends here. [Rapping] Ohh, I’m the extraterrestrial, emphasis on extra. My skin is blue because I come from Planet X, bruh. If you step on this, you gonna get creamed. If you outta line, you gonna get laser beamed. Arms ripped, afro poofy. Ears tipped, you goofy. Liftin’ and pumpin’ and crushin’ the weights. Don’t be surprised when I thrash you. Movin’ and settin’ and stackin’ the crates. [Uses his powers to move the crates] And you ain’t nothin’ but trash, do. [Throws K.O. into the crate “trash”] You lookin’ foolish. You ain’t the real me. I am the true Rad. I know you feel me. He is Radicles. Ain’t nobody ever wanna mess with me. I said he is Radicles. I ain’t got time for no identity thief. [Drops mic]
Enid: Hey! Careful with my gear!
Rad: [Picks up mic] Sorry, Enid.
Enid: That’s right you are.
K.O.: Uh, Enid, do you know “Wash Your Hands”?
Enid: I’ll see what I can do, K.O.. Knock em dead! [Replaces a disk with a new one. Plays a new song]
K.O.: Oh, cool. All right, here goes nothin’. [Rapping] Well, I’m Radicles and I’m here to say. I learned a lot about myself today. [Takes out notepad] I’m a yoga guy with a yoga mat. Don’t believe it, ask the kids I babysat. Sharks and bees ain’t where it’s at. I rather snuggle up with a kitty cat. I like to burp and I like to toot. But deep inside, I’m really cute. Wash your hands, wash your hands. It’s a good idea to wash your hands. [Drupe starts to giggle] Lather ‘em up with a little bit of soap. Wash your hands, don’t be a dope.
Rad: [Grabs mic from K.O.] Listen, imposter. I don’t babysit or do yoga, and I definitely don’t like snuggling kittens.
K.O.: I don’t understand. That all seems like cool stuff to me.
Rad: But Rad would never find that stuff cool. And even if he did, Rad wouldn’t be ready to share those things about himself. If you really were Rad, you’d know that.
K.O.: Oh. Gah! You got me! All that stuff I rapped about was lies. I was, uh, trying to embarrass you. Yeah. Isn’t that what rapping battles are all about?
Rad: I guess. Uh, yeah! Yeah, you’re right!
K.O.: Well, I guess my little plan didn’t work. You’re the real Rad— [Hands name tag to Rad and puts it on] tough, cool, and totally one-dimensional.
Enid: [Record scratches] All right, I’m bored. Everybody out. [Her DJ set turns back to a counter] [Changes her outfit and listens to her music]
Crowd: Aw. So lame.
Rad: K.O.! When did you get here? You just missed me crush this fake Rad dude in a rippity rap battle. [Scoffs] He was totally about to cry.
K.O.: I can only imagine. [Winks]
Rad: You got something in your eye?
Rad: Hey, Enid, can you play that freestyle I did back for K.O.?
Enid: Nope, nope.
Rad: Fine! I’ll just do a quick acoustic set for my pal K.O.. [Beatboxes] [Rapping] I definitely don’t like to knit in my spare time. Don’t want to sit and unwind with a ball of twine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[The episode ends]