Radical Rescue/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Radical Rescue". Feel free to add contents to this page, as long as information comes from the episode.

Previous: "Big Reveal"

Next: "You're a Good Friend, KO"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open. Trans. Ext. Lakewood Plaza Turbo - Day]
[Trans. Int. Gar's Hero Supply & Bodega]
(K.O. stacks canned Lazer Chips on the display. Rad brings a box.)
Rad	Alright little man, here's another box of the canned Lazer Chips for your display.
K.O.	Thanks, Rad. *shows can* These are the best Lazer Chips yet! It's the snack of the future, today. *opens can* And they're in a tube, which is cool. *munches the chips*
Rad	*stacks cans* Come on, K.O. It's all marketing really.
(Lazers come out of K.O.'s mouth.)
K.O.	"Marketing"?!
Rad	They're just like the regular bag Lazer Chips but in a tube. *eats chips* Yep. *lazers come out of his mouth* Doesn't matter what container they put it in. It's just the same old junk.
(Rad tosses the canned chips and bagged chips aside. Lazers come out from the them.)
K.O.	Ohh! You're right, Rad. Tubes are so overrated.
(K.O. tosses the canned chips and lazers come out.)
Rad	Uh, I'm always right. That's why it's a good thing you got me around. *points himself* I'll never lead you astray.
[Title: Radical Rescue title card and beginning credits]
[Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby enters the Bodega]
Bell Beefer	Yo, brozingas. Chumps and nerds around the nation.
Megafootball Baby	Prepare yourself for humiliation.
[Text: Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer: Rad's "Cool" Friends From School]
K.O. (O.S.)	Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer!
(K.O. waves at them.)
Rad	Hey, bromigos. What's up?
Megafootball Baby	We're here to show you a new game we just made up.
K.O.	Ooh, I love game. *claps* How do you play?
Megafootball Baby	We pull up a random photo on your phone and we decide if it's "cool"…
Bell Beefer	*gives thumbs down* …or "lame."
Megafootball Baby	Like this!
(Megafootball Baby pulls out phone and shows a picture of him running with a Megafootball.)
Megafootball Baby	Cool!
(The next picture is Megafootball Baby falling down.)
Bell Beefer	Lame!
(The next picture is Megafootball Baby sitting on a motor bike with casts.)
Megafootball Baby & Bell Beefer	Cool!
Megafootball Baby	Pretty fun, don't you think?
(He turns off his phone.)
K.O.	Yes! Me next! Do me next!
(K.O. gives his phone to Megafootball Baby.)
Megafootball Baby	One diaper full of judgment comin' right up.
(The first picture is K.O. receiving A++.)
Megafootball Baby & Bell Beefer	Lame!
(The next picture is K.O. playing with a wizard action figure.)
Megafootball Baby & Bell Beefer	Lame!
(The next picture is Carol proud that K.O. potty trained.)
Megafootball Baby & Bell Beefer	Super lame! *laughs*
K.O.	*laughs* I didn't realize how many of the things I like were actually lame.
Megafootball Baby	You're welcome.
Bell Beefer	Okay, Rad, your turn.
Megafootball Baby	Unless you're too chicken. *clucks*
Rad	Huh? No way! I'm not scared.
(Rad turns around to select cat photos to delete.)
Rad	Let me just, uh, give you my phone here.
(Megafootball Baby takes the phone from Rad.)
Rad	Yes, I think you'll find my pics perfectly typical for a young man of my demographic.
Megafootball Baby	Let's see about that.
(The first picture is Rad wearing a cool outfit from "We've Got Pests".)
Bell Beefer, Megafootball Baby & K.O.	Cool!
Rad	See? What'd I tell ya?
(The next picture is him with Witchy Simone from Mighty Magiswords.)
Bell Beefer, Megafootball Baby & K.O.	Cool!
(Bell Beefer gives a thumbs up.)
Megafootball Baby	Alright. Dude…
Bell Beefer	Score one for Rad.
Rad	What can I say? The Radicles does it again.
(The next picture is of Teacup. Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer laughs. Bell Beefer gives a thumbs down.)
Megafootball Baby & Bell Beefer	Lame!
K.O.	*points up* Lame!
Rad (V.O.)	Oh! I missed one.
Bell Beefer	Wait, you don't actually like kittens, do you, Rad?
Megafootball Baby	Kittens is so not cool.
Bell Beefer	Kittens is for babies.
Megafootball Baby	Come on, man. We talked about this.
Bell Beefer	I mean "weenies". Only weenies like kittens.
Rad	Uh… Totally! Ha! I was just holding onto the photo for, uh, my girlfriend! You know, the hot one in the photo. She's the kitten weenie, ha. I definitely don't like cats 'cause I'm not a weenie.
Bell Beefer	Okay, that checks out.
Megafootball Baby	*points* We should probably head over to mega football practice now.
Bell Beefer	You coming, Rad?
Rad	Actually, I really should help K.O. finish setting up the display.
K.O.	La-a-ame!
(Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby laughs. Bell Beefer gives a thumbs up.)
Bell Beefer	Good one, K.O.
Megafootball Baby	Keep it up, and you'll be like our boy Rad someday.
(Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer leaves the Bodega.)
K.O.	*waves* Byeee! Wow, I sure hope so. You're the perfect role model to teach me how to be cool and not lame.
Rad	Uh, I'm not so sure about that, K.O.
K.O.	W-what do you mean? You know who to hang out with, you have a babe, and you know that kittens is for weenies.
Rad	Actually, K.O., I, uh… I need to go to practice after all! I'll be back in a bit!
(Rad quickly dashes out from the Bodega.)
K.O.	Hmm, I wonder what else I like is lame.
[Trans. Ext. Lakewood Plaza Turbo]
(Outside of the Bodega, Rad stealthly sneaks around the plaza to the Adoption Shelter.)
[Trans. Int. Adoption Shelter]
Rad	*pants* I'm back!
(A clutter of cats approaches to Rad and jumps on him.)
Rad	Oh! One at a time, guys!
Teacup	Mew!
Rad	*gasps* Teacup!
Teacup	Mew!
(Rad hugs Teacup.)
Rad	*laughs* You're back!
(Dr. Sphinxen comes out from her office. Rad kisses Teacup.)
Dr. Sphinxen	Yeah, her new home didn't work out, so she'll be staying here at the shelter for a little longer.
Rad	Aw, but, Dr. Sphinxen, how could anyone say no to somebody this cute?
Teacup	Mew!
Dr. Sphinxen	Well, sometimes it's just hard to fit in.
Rad	*sighs* You're telling me.
Dr. Sphinxen	You know, for all the years you've been helping out here, I've always wondered why you never took home a friend of your own.
Rad	Eh, my parents are allergic. Spending time with the cats here, that's probably the closest I'm ever gonna get.
Dr. Sphinxen	Well, all of us are lucky to have you, Radicles. Oh! We got a new arrival today. I'm sure you two will get along splendidly.
(Dr. Sphinxen picks up Mikayla.)
Mikayla	*snarls* Mikayla.
(The cats run away.)
Rad	Wait what?! *points* That is not some cute homeless cat! That's Mikayla, an evil robot from Box More!
Dr. Sphinxen	"Evil robot"? *puts down Mikayla* Radicles, it's our job as volunteers to take care of all animals. Just because one is made out of metal instead of fur, doesn't mean we can't show it love. Anyway, it's about time for my break, so take care of the little angel for me, won't you? Thanks.
(Dr. Sphinxen goes into her office for her break. Rad crouches down to offer his hand to Mikayla.)
Rad	Alright. Maybe it's fine.
(Mikayla growls and shakes.)
Rad	Okay! Too soon for petting. This is probably one of those things where you need to, like, get used to my smell first, right?
(Rad plucks one of his antennae. He grows it back. He offers Mikayla to smell his antennae.)
Mikayla	Huh? *zaps antennae*
Rad	Right… So none of that. That's fine. Maybe… *turns around*
Mikayla	Grr?
(Rad takes out a toy rat.)
Rad	You want to play instead?
(Mikayla plays with the toy rat.)
Rad	There you go. Look at you, having fun. Okay, now, for this next one —jump!
(Rad flings the toy rat up. Mikayla jumps in the air.)
Rad	Oh, whoa.
(Mikayla chomps his hand.)
Rad	Aah!
(Rad flings Mikayla at the wall. He runs to Dr. Sphinxen.)
Rad	Dr. Sphinxen, I need some help with the new cat —
(Rad sees Dr. Sphinxen napping in her sarcophagus.)
Rad	Huh? Why now? *turns around* Ah, where'd Mikayla go? Wha?!
(Mikayla snarls at Teacup.)
Teacup	Mew!
(Mikayla releases her claws. Rad runs to them.)
Rad	No-o-o-o! *catches Teacup* No scratching the other cats!
(Mikayla snarls and jumps on top of Rad.)
Rad	*turns around* Oh!
(Mikayla runs into the feeding area. She knocks down the scratching posts, flips over the bowls, and zaps a cat.)
Rad	Mikayla!
(Rad picks up the cats. He blows on one to remove soot. Mikayla chases the cats with her laser.)
Rad	No lasering the other cats.
(The other cats jump on top of a higher scratching post, scared. Mikayla blasts sound waves and breaks the scratching post.
Rad	Oh no you don't!
(Rad captures all the cats with his arms and leg.)
Rad	Whew!
(Mikayla plays with Rad's foot.)
Rad	Hey! Stop that! I can't even use my finger beams. I got to get out of here.
(Rad runs away from Mikayla, exiting the adoption shelter.)
Mikayla	Grr!
[Trans. Ext. Lakewood Plaza Turbo]
Rad	Aah! K.O., I need your hel—
(Rad sees K.O. inside the Bodega through the windows.)
[Trans. Int. Gar's Hero Supply & Bodega]
(Enid watches her phone by the counter. K.O. laughs as he puffs his chest while walking.)
Rad	K.O.?
(K.O. points to the Lazer Chips display.)
K.O.	Lame!
(K.O. walks to Enid and points at her.)
K.O.	Lame!
(Enid is angry at him.)
Rad	Oh, no! That's not my K.O.! Where's my K.O.?
(K.O. walks to the POW Card vending machine.)
K.O.	And these Pow Cards are definitely *points machine* la-a-a-ame!
Rad	*gasps* Not pow cards! He loves those!
(Rad opens the doors. K.O. K.O. turns around.)
Rad	Psst, K.O., over here.
[Trans. Ext. Lakewood Plaza Turbo]
(K.O. exits the Bodega.)
K.O.	Hey, Rad. Why do you have so many kittens in your arms?
(A cat meows.)
Rad	Mikayla infiltrated the cat shelter and started attacking all the kittens. We got to stop her.
K.O.	Kittens? But you guys said kittens were lame. I mean, la-a-a-ame!
Rad	*groans* Listen — K.O., seeing you act like me, makes me feel terrible.
K.O.	Wait, why? You're the coolest!
Rad	It's great that you look up to me and stuff, but there's things about me you shouldn't look up to.
[Flashback - Trans. Middle School Lockers]
(Rad brings a microscope to show Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby.)
Rad (V.O.)	Ever since I met Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby…
Bell Beefer & Megafootball Baby	Ehhh.
(The microscope disappears. Rad shows them The Lord of the Loot.)
Rad (V.O.)	...they've been defining what is and isn't cool for me.
Bell Beefer & Megafootball Baby	Ehhh.
(The Lord of the Loot book disappears. Rad shows them Glarfnar Salad.)
Rad (V.O.)	And I've just been going along with it.
Bell Beefer & Megafootball Baby	Ehhh.
(The Glarfnar Salad disappears. Rad shows them a hamburger, a Megafootball, and a bat.)
Bell Beefer & Megafootball Baby	Uh-huh.
Rad	Ah-hah!
(Rad throws away items to the garbage bin.)
Rad (V.O.)	I just can't stand the idea of those guys, or me, doing that to you, too.
[Flashback ends.]
[Trans. Ext. Lakewood Plaza Turbo]
Rad	I don't want you to go around making fun of things people like.
K.O.	Oh, I thought we were still playing that game. I like kittens, too. Let's stop Mikayla!
(K.O. puts on his tank top and vest.)
K.O.	Ready?!
Ready! Let's go save some kittens!
Mikayla (O.S.)	Mikayla.
(Mikayla approaches in front of K.O. and Rad.)
K.O.	Aww.
(Mikayla sits down.)
K.O.	Ohh, she's so cute. Here kitty, kitty!
Rad	Careful, K.O., don't underestimate her. She may be cute but she's dangerous.
(Mikayla wags her tail. She pounces onto Rad.)
Rad	Get her off of me!
(Mikayla scratches Rad.)
Rad	Ow-ow-ow! *runs in circles* Get her off! Get her off! Get her off! Get her off!
K.O.	Hang on. I'll grab her!
(Mikayla almost claws K.O.)
K.O.	Hold still, Rad!
Rad	Yikes!
(K.O. throws his power fist. Rad dodges and Mikayla jumps across the parking lot. She runs back to them. K.O. runs towards Mikayla.)
K.O.	Mikayla has had enough play time.
(K.O. punches her in the air. Rad kicks her in place.)
Rad	Maybe it's time for a cat nap!
(Rad kicks Mikayla in the air.)
Rad	Would you kittens like to do the honors?
(The cats meow in agreement.)
Rad	Cat-scratch fever!
(Rad aims the cats to Mikayla. Mikayla dodges them.)
Mikayla	Aah?
(Teacup faces Mikayla. Teacup claws Mikayla back to Boxmore.)
Mikayla	Aaaah!
(Boxmore explodes when she lands there. Rad catches the cats.)
K.O.	And that is what happens when you attack the kitten shelter.
Rad	We did it! You're all safe now. *hugs the cats*
Bell Beefer (O.S.)	Rad?
Bell Beefer & Megafootball Baby	What goes on here?
Rad	Oh! Uh… What are you guys doing back from practice?
Bell Beefer	We remembered we didn't make the team, so we left.
Megafootball Baby	Are you snuggling with kittens?
Bell Beefer	La-a-a-ame!
(Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby laughs.)
Rad	Uh…
K.O.	Hmph!
(Rad puts down the cats.)
Rad	You stay in the bodega for now.
(The cats enter the Bodega.)
Rad	I call for a power battle! *zaps the floor* You guys don't know anything! *gets out phone* This isn't my "babe," she's my cool, platonic friend from another dimension. We're just friends, and I think that's good for us right now!
(Rad zaps Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer.)
Rad	*swipes picture* And this picture of an adorable kitten? Her name's Teacup!
(Rad zaps Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer again.)
Rad	And I love her. 'Cause kittens… aren't… lame! I think they're coo-oo-ool!
(Rad produces sound waves. The waves make Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby fly away.)
Megafootball Baby & Bell Beefer	Whoa!
(Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer crashes into the asphalt of the parking lot.)
Bell Beefer	*coughs* Man, we were just kidding.
Megafootball Baby	Yeah, why do you got to be such a sensitive weenie boy?
(Megafootball Baby zaps Rad.)
Rad	Whoa!
(K.O. guards Rad.)
K.O.	You're the sensitive weenies! If something doesn't fit into your, little box of "cool," you guys feel threatened and make fun of it. If you ask me, that's the lamest thing of all.
(K.O. zaps Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby.)
Megafootball Baby & Bell Beefer	Unh!
Megafootball Baby	What? *gets up* Ha, ha, we're not sensitive!
Bell Beefer	*gets up* Yeah, we're just telling it like it is. You're the sensitive ones.
Megafootball Baby (O.S.)	Yeah you're the lame ones for thinking we're lame.
(K.O. are Rad are confused by them.)
Bell Beefer (O.S.)	Why'd you have to get all offended, huh?
Megafootball Baby	If you didn't want to get owned, you shouldn't have had those picture in the first place.
Bell Beefer	We're just trying to have a conversation about what's cool and what's lame.
(K.O. and Rad sees them grow in size in frustration.)
Megafootball Baby	If you want to be a lamer, that's fine. If you can't take our opinion, that's your fault.
Bell Beefer	We literally don't even care, man. Why can't you chill?
(Bell Beefer and Megafootball Baby explodes.)
Bell Beefer & Megafootball Baby (O.S.)	Aaaah…
Rad	Wow.
(Megafootball Baby and Bell Beefer falls down. Then, they get up to fight each other.)
Bell Beefer	Why'd you let us explode like that?
Megafootball Baby	Shut your face!
Bell Beefer	You're so-o-o lame!
Megafootball Baby	You're so lame!
(Rad and K.O. laughs at them. Teacup approaches to K.O. and Rad.)
K.O. & Rad	Huh?
(Teacup purrs around K.O.'s legs.)
K.O.	Aww, kitty.
Rad	Looks like Teacup likes you already. *picks up Teacup* Hey, want to come visit the shelter with me? I could, like, show you all the other cats and stuff.
K.O.	Sure, Rad, but shouldn't we wait till work is over?
Rad	Dude, it's always a good time for kittens.
(Rad cuddles with Teacup,)
[END]