|— This is a transcribed copy of "Presenting Joe Cuppa". —|
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|Previous: "Just Be a Pebble"||Next: "Do You Have Any More in the Back?"|
[The episode starts off with Rad, K.O., and Enid taking a seat]
Rad: I’m pretty surprised you convinced Mr. Gar to do this open mic show in the bodega, Enid. [Eats popcorn]
Enid: I may have also told him that he could get a tax break for supporting local artists. [Chuckles]
K.O.: Well, I’m super excited for this open mic! What’s an open mic?
Rad: It’s when people come up on stage and tell a bunch of jokes, you know, for comedy, or whatever.
K.O.: Oh! What’s jokes?
Enid: Well, K.O., a joke has two basic components, a set up and a punch line.
Rad: It’s basically when you expect one thing, and then a different result happens.
Mr. Gar: If this doesn’t bring in money, we’re never doing it again. Please welcome to the stage our first comedian, Neil. [Walks offstage]
Neil: So, uh… What’s the deal with girls, huh? So, I was talking to this girl at the grocery store.
Rad: K.O., don’t laugh at this stuff. It’s so bad.
K.O.: But he told a joke. I’m supposed to laugh.
Enid: Jokes are supposed to be funny. Neil’s not funny.
K.O.: Well then… what is funny?
Enid: Personally, I prefer physical comedy.
Neil: All right, guys, thanks so much for your time. My merch table is at the back, and—
Mr. Gar: [Kicks Neil off the stage] Yeah, yeah. Uh, give a big round of applause for our next comedian, Joe Cuppa!
Rad: [Gaps] The Joe Cuppa?!
Enid: Who the heck is Joe Cuppa? Is he good?
Rad: “Is he good?”! He’s only the single greatest comedian of our time! [Joe Cuppa goes to the mic] Whoo! Yeah! Pay attention, K.O.. This is all you need to know about what it means to be funny!
Joe Cuppa: Hey, folks, anyone order a hot cuppa me? Hey!
K.O.: Oh! [laughs] Get it, Enid? Coffee!
Joe Cuppa: But seriously, folks, it’s not easy being a cup of coffee. I had a hot date last night, and when I say hot, I mean she burned her lips trying to kiss me! Ho!
[Rad and K.O. laughs while Enid is unimpressed and checks her watch]
Joe Cuppa: Oh! I can sense someone out in the audience isn’t loving my act. Let me guess, you’re thinking, “Bean there, done that”? [K.O. and Rad laughs while Enid is angered] Hey! All right, you’ve been a brew-tiful crowd. [Waves] Good night!
K.O.: [Gets Enid’s arms] Get it, Enid? Different results!
Enid: It’s not different results, it’s just bad coffee puns!
K.O.: Well, the audience was loving it!
Enid: What audience?!
Mr. Gar: Show’s over—forever!
[Rad levitates a chair while Enid carries a stack of chairs. K.O. sweeps and snickers a little]
Enid: What are you giggling about over there, K.O.?
K.O.: I just can’t get over how funny Joe Cuppa was!
Rad: I know! [Hands a chair to Enid] I used to watch all his specials on TV when I was a kid. I haven’t seen him in anything in a while, though.
Enid: Might be because he’s all washed up, and also not funny.
Rad: [Scoffs] Whatever.
[Joe Cuppa walks by]
K.O. and Rad: [Gasps] Mr. Cuppa, Mr. Cuppa!
Rad: I’m Rad!
K.O.: I’m K.O.! Will you sign my face?
Rad: Mine, too!
Joe Cuppa: Ha! Sure thing, champs. [Signs Rad’s name as Rod and K.O.’s name as Kiddo]
Joe Cuppa: [Waves] See ya a-ground, lounge losers! Can’t be late for my world tour!
Enid: [Scoffs] The only loser here is Joe Cuppa.
Rad: You’ll eat your words once he makes his big comeback.
K.O.: Yeah, Enid! Joe Cuppa is destined for super-stardom.
[A customer comes in the Bodega]
Enid: [On her phone, not noticing the customer] Welcome to Gar’s Bodega, valued customer.
[The customer pours nachos and lightning cheese in his hoodie. Grabs “free” samples]
K.O.: Can I assist you today?!
Customer: Uh, no, I’m just here to, uh… [Chuckles nervously] get away from the daily grind! Hey! [K.O. laughs] ‘Scuse me, kid! [Goes to see a coffee pot] Hello, brew-tiful! [Drinks the coffee] Just my type—hot and bitter!
[Rad’s drink comes out from his nose while laughing]
K.O.: Enid, who is that guy?! He’s hilarious!
Rad: Ha ha! Yeah, almost as funny as Joe Cuppa!
Enid: [Growls] Wake up, brainiacs! It is Joe Cuppa!
Rad: Joe Cuppa doesn’t have a beard, Enid.
[Enid takes off the disguise from Joe Cuppa]
Joe Cuppa: Not my fake beard!
[K.O. and Rad gasps]
K.O.: It’s Joe Cuppa!
Rad: I thought you were out doing your big world tour?
Joe Cuppa: [Sighs] Truth is, I got nowhere else to go. I’m no big star. Haven’t sold a ticket in years. [Shows a flashback where Joe Cuppa lives] Now I sleep under the sink of a bathroom of a gas station in a sewer. My only friends are the rat people and every night, [The rats cuddle him] I wait for their sweet embrace to put me to sleep. [Transitions to present] Let’s face it, nobody wants to see this ugly mug anymore.
K.O.: [Thinking] Wow. Who knew someone so funny could be so sad. [A rat walks around Joe Cuppa] I want him to know true happiness again. [Gasps] Mr. Joe Cuppa, I know exactly how to cheer you up!
[Customers at the Bodega screams. A rocket landed in the Bodega. Joe Cuppa stares at the mess]
Joe Cuppa: You sure about this, kiddo?
K.O.: What’s more rewarding than working in retail?!
Joe Cuppa: Eh. I’ll give it a shot! [Winks and chuckles]
Heroic Guy: Excuse me, cup, do you have any magic muscle cream? I’ve got no… [Rips his shirt off] ab definition!
Joe Cuppa: Don’t think so. But if ya want something that you can put cream in, hows about a cup of coffee?! [Shows a small cup to him]
Joe Cuppa and Small Joe: We gotta latte those!
Heroic Guy: Uh… No, thanks. Coffee makes me gassy. [Slides away]
Joe Cuppa and Small Joe: Eh, suit yourself. [Joe Cuppa puts Small Joe in him] Can I help you today, sir?
Nick Army: Oh! Uh, I was just trying to decide on the right motor oil for my battle tank.
Joe Cuppa: [Thinking] Okay, give it to him straight! No jokes. Well, uh… [Chuckles] They both have their pros and cons. Really you just gotta m-m-m… mocha choice! Uh, I don’t know.
Nick Army: Okay… Thanks anyway, I guess.
[Joe Cuppa sighs]
K.O.: Yeah, maybe working here isn’t the right thing to help you right now.
Joe Cuppa: [His work vest disappears with flames] Oh. [Alarm sets off] Huh? What’s going on?!
K.O.: [Carries Joe Cuppa] You’re gonna love this! Nothing cheers me up more than beating up bad guys! [Throwing him out the window]
[Rad, K.O., and Enid exits and prepares to battle]
Enid: Psst, Joe. Prepare to intimidate.
Joe Cuppa: [Wears only underwear lying on the ground] Like this? [Chuckles]
Enid: Intimidate not intimate!
[A Boxmore box drops in the ground, opening it up to reveal Shannon. She gets off her throne]
Shannon: Welcome, plazoids! It’s me—Shannon!
Enid: Yeah, we know it’s you, Shannon.
Rad: You can’t say welcome! You came here! Plus , you’re not welcome, like, at all. Go away.
Shannon: [Chuckles] I’m welcoming you… [Releases her weapons] to your demise!
Joe Cuppa: Whoa! Would you look at the time.
Shannon: [Holds her blade in front of Joe Cuppa] Hold up! Is this a new addition to your little ensemble? [Stretches her head out] Looks a little… pathetique. [Joe Cuppa whimpers] He fits right in! [Transforms into a hammer and smashes the ground]
Enid, K.O., and Rad: Whoa! [Joe Cuppa fell to the ground with coffee spilled] Joe?!
Shannon: Hold that pose! [Takes pictures] I gotta show H.Q. how hard I am crushing you right now.
Joe Cuppa: [Sighs] Listen, guys, I’m just your average Joe. I ain’t got powers like you. I’m no hero, that’s for sure.
Rad: No powers?! [Scoffs] [Looks into Joe Cuppa’s head] There’s gotta be something in th— [A mouth is shown] [Screams] Oh! That’s where your mouth is! That’s super disgusting!
[A flag of Joe Cuppa is shown]
K.O.: Hold it right there, Mr. Joe. [Salutes] You’re a hero to me.
Rad: And to me.
Enid: You’re a… Look, I’ll be honest, I think your jokes are painful.
K.O.: [Gasps] Enid’s right! [Pokes Joe Cuppa] Your jokes are painful!
Joe Cuppa: Hmm?
[K.O., Enid, and Rad set-ups up a comedian stage]
Joe Cuppa: [Clears throat] [Talks to the microphone] Um, hey there, folks.
Shannon: Eh? [Turns around and turns off her communication]
Joe Cuppa: Uh, the name’s Joe Cuppa. I’ll be saying some pretty shocking stuff… ‘cause I don’t have a filter! Hey, hey!
[Rad and K.O. laughs. Joe Cuppa’s coffee punch hits Shannon while she wasn’t looking]
Shannon: Huh?! Uh, nobody saw that.
[K.O. and Enid laughs]
Rad: Oh, we totally did!
K.O.: [Laughs] He said filter.
Enid: [Sighs] Violence.
Shannon: [Growls] Bunch of wise guys, huh? [Transforms into a wheel]
Joe Cuppa: [Swings the microphone] Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m just trying to espresso myself! [His coffee punch punches Shannon to the ground]
[Shannon wheezes. K.O., Enid, and Rad laughs]
Joe Cuppa: How is this happening?! I don’t even know what to call these things!
K.O.: What about punch line—
Joe Cuppa: I’ll call ‘em java jokes!
Shannon: [Growls] [Stop signs appear for her hands] I’ll end you before you make another stupid pun! [Traps Joe Cuppa and her blades surround him]
Joe Cuppa: Oh. Was that the last straw for you?! [His coffee punch shoots out Shannon’s mouth and escapes] Let me give you the skinny, ya doppio, you’re the one getting creamed here!
[His coffee punch sends Shannon flying in the air]
Enid, Rad, and K.O.: Whoa!
[Shannon screams and lands onto the coffee shop]
Barista Pup: Ice cold burn for, uh, Shame-on?
Shannon: [Gasps] Coffee! [Slaps the coffee away] Coffee?! [Screams] Coffee! No more! No more! [Runs to Boxmore and explodes]
Joe Cuppa: Thank you! You’ve been a great audience!
[Enid, K.O., and Rad carries Joe Cuppa up]
K.O.: Yay, Joe!
Enid: Way to go, Joe!
Rad: Joe rules!
Enid: Nice one, Joe. You really brews-ed her, eh?
[Joe Cuppa, Rad, and K.O. fell to the ground laughing]
Enid: So that’s all it takes, huh?
Joe Cuppa: Hey, kiddo, I just want to thank ya. You believed in me and helped me find my way again. Will ya… Will ya sign my head?
K.O.: Um… [Signs Joe Cuppa’s head K.O. but added “idd” between K and O]
Director: [Stops the car] You there—with a cup for a head and a man for a body! I’ve got big plans for you, palsy—big, big plans! You’re gonna be a star!
Joe Cuppa: Me? [Hops to the Director’s car] Welp! Smell ya later, lounge losers!
Director: Let’s roll, Bubbeleh. [Drives off and the rats going after them]
[K.O., Enid, and Rad heads to the Bodega]
K.O.: Like I said, Enid, Joe Cuppa’s destined for super stardom!
Enid: [Scoffs] Yeah, I guess he is. Y’all need some taste, though.
Rad: [Puts his arm around Enid] But, Enid, true comedy is all about different— [Slips on a banana and crashes into the garbage can] whoa! Whoa! [The trash can falls from the mountain into the river] Whoa! Oh, no! Oh, no, no! [He falls from the water fall] [A pterodactyl carries him] Huh? Oh! You saved me! [The pterodactyl places him on an airplane] Oh, my gosh! Oh, no!
Airplane: Whee! [Flies around where Rad falls from it. Rad lands on the ground injured]
[Enid and K.O. laughs]
Enid: Now that’s comedy! [Laughs]
[The episode ends]