|— This is a transcribed copy of "My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad". —|
|Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.|
|Previous: "Do You Have Any More in the Back?"||Next: "We've Got Pests"|
[The episode starts off with K.O. looking at the food at Burrito Beardo’s]
Beardo: All right, all right, all right. [Starts handing the food to the customers] We got one order of the Joe and Macaroni, one Sypros Platter, and one Gnocchi Gnocchi Panic. [Customers received their food and head off]
K.O.: Man, it all looks so delicious. [Rad eats his Dragon Dragon Burrito]
Rad: I recommend the Dragon Dragon Burrito. [Burps out dragons]
K.O.: [Laughs] I really want to try that, but the burgs and potato wedges also look really good. Hmm.
[Chameleon Jr. clears his throat. K.O. turns around to see the Lizard Gang waiting in line. Chameleon Jr. looks at his watch and sighs. The titlecard appears]
K.O.: So, wedges, I think. Oh, maybe—
Chameleon Jr.: [Clears throat] Hmph! Take your time. It’s cool. It’s not like anybody is waiting.
K.O.: Ah, thank goodness. I was worried I was taking too long.
Chameleon Jr: Great. We got a real genius here.
[The Lizard Gang laughs]
K.O.: Aww! Thanks for the compliment.
[The Lizard Gang laughs again]
Rad: Dude, K.O., you’re not getting complimented. You’re getting zinged. [Gasps]
K.O.: What? No! What should I do?
Rad: Zing him back. A true hero never backs down. They fight fire… [Eats the burrito and breathes fires] with fire.
K.O.: Even firefighters?
Rad: Yes. They use blowtorches.
Chameleon Jr.: [Chuckles] What are you looking at, neeeeeeeeeeeeerd? [The NERD text shoots out from his mouth while K.O. dodges it. Chameleon Jr. laughs]
K.O.: Well, it takes one to know one! [K.O. shoots out text from his mouth hitting Chameleon Jr.]
Chameleon Jr: Oh yeah? [Shouts out text once more]
K.O.: [Punches the YEAH text] Yeeeeeaaah! [The Yeah text pushes Chameleon’s Jr.’s gang] [Sighs]
Chameleon Jr: [Growls] Oh, it’s on, now. I challenge you to a clash of fists!
K.O.: Bring on the fire, jerko. I’ll touch you like a creme brulee.
Chameleon Jr: [Growls] Have a taste of my sticky tongue. [K.O. dodges his sticky tongue] [His stinky tongue got stuck on Beardo’s truck] Ohhhhhhh. Oof!
[Rad, Beardo, and then K.O. laughs]
Chameleon Jr: [Growls and turns pink] Well, m-m-my dad can beat up your dad!
K.O.: [Laughs] Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can… My dad can… I don’t have a dad.
[Beardo laughs and stops while Rad coughs on his burrito]
K.O.: But I have a mom that can beat up anybody!
Chameleon Jr: Then it’s on. 3:00 sharp, roof of the plaza.
K.O.: We’ll be there. My mom is gonna love this.
Carol: I hate this, K.O.. I am very disappointed in you. You’re grounded.
K.O.: But Moooooooom! [Crawls back to her]
Carol: Why would you do such a reckless thing? What were you thinking?
K.O.: There was this kid— Chameleon Jr.— and he just kept on zinging me. He said his dad could beat up my dad, and it kind of got to me, ‘cause— ‘cause I don’t got a dad.
Carol: [Sighs] Oh, K.O., honey. [Picks up K.O.] You did have a dad. He was a great man, a great hero, and I’m sure he would’ve loved you very much. [Sets K.O. on the bench] You know, getting mad and escalating a situation is never a good idea, Pumpkin.
K.O.: Escalate? [gets angry] Escalate?! How can I escalate something when I don’t even know what “escalate” means?!
Carol: See, right there, honey… that was escalating. [Hands a burrito to K.O.]
K.O.: [Eats the burrito and breathes fire] Aw, snappy-whap-whappy! Dragon Dragon Burritos.
Carol: So, I’ve decided that I will make an appearance on the roof later, but not to fight. I’m gonna face Chameleon Jr.’s dad, but with my words, not my fists. I’ll show you how a conflict is de-escalated in the flesh.
K.O.: De-escalated? What’s that?
Carol: It’s making a big thing smaller. [Winks]
[Next scene shows K.O. and Carol on the roof]
K.O.: Yeah! Power batt—
Carol: [Grabs K.O.’s mouth] K.O., what did we just discuss, little man?
K.O.: Sorry, Mom. I’m just excited to hang out with you.
Chameleon Jr.: About time you chumps got here.
[K.O. and Carol searches for Chameleon Jr.’s dad]
Carol: Huh. Looks like Chameleon Jr’s dad took the high road and decided not to show. Maybe we won’t have—
[Loud footsteps were heard. Chameleon Sr. lands on the roof and throws his briefcase. Pats his son’s head]
Carol: You just sit back and watch carefully now, K.O.. [Clears throat] Hey there, Mr. Chameleon Sr.! I heard about what our boys did today and though we could show them the right way to solve conflict—by talking things out!
Chameleon Sr.: Ha! You think I’ll let that little squirt of yours slide after zinging my precious boy? I want to fight! Bleh! [Unless his tongue while Carol dodges it]
Carol: Sir, i really think fighting sends a wrong message to our sons! We should just sit down— [Chameleon Sr. wags his tail to her but she dodges it] [Chameleon Sr. vanishes] Huh? Mr. Cham—[Jumps after she sense his presence]
Chameleon Sr.: Ha! You’re pretty good at not fighting, just like your weakling of a son.
Chameleon Jr: Ha!
Carol: Did you just… insult my son?
Chameleon Sr: [Laughs] And what are you gonna do about it?
Carol: I’m gonna challenge you to a power battle!
Chameleon Sr: [Laughs] Now, what could your puny coward arms and coward legs [Carol jumps] ever hope to do— [Carol punches him. She grabs his tongue and punches him]
Chameleon Jr: Daddy!
Chameleon Sr: Run, son. [Grabs his tongue to send Carol to the ground and she smashes into it]
Chameleon Sr: [Reels in his tongue] I told you that your puny coward antics wouldn’t faze me. [Laughs] [Carol rises from the ground] Doo, doo, doo-doo.
Carol: Hey, lizard breath! Looks like your tale has come to an end! [Grabs Chameleon Sr.’s tail and ropes him]
Chameleon Sr: Whoa! Whoa!
K.O.: I don’t think this situation is getting any smaller.
Carol: [Throws Chameleon Sr in the air] So long, Senior. [Kicks him back to the roof] [Walks to K.O.] All’s well that ends well.
K.O.: Mom, I’m not really seeing how we made the situation smaller. I thought we weren’t supposed to resort to using our fi— fi-fi… [Stammers] [Chameleon Sr.’s tongue is behind Carol] Uh, look out behind you! [K.O. and Carol dodges it]
[Chameleon Sr. grabs Carol]
[Chameleon Sr. tosses her to ground and is going to body slam her]
Carol: Huh? Aaaah! [He body slams her]
Chameleon Jr.: [Hits Carol on the ground with his tail] Take that and that and that and that.
K.O.: What do I do? Mom’s made this situation even bigger. Wait a minute. That’s it! [Grabs his lunch bag and goes to Chameleon Sr.]
Chameleon Sr.: Take that and that and—
K.O.: [Lands on him] Excuse me.
Chameleon Sr: Huh?
K.O.: [Shows a tray of burritos] Hi, Mr. Chameleon Sr., sir. I’m K.O.. This whole thing started because I took too long to order my food, so I was hoping we could all eat these peace-offering burritos together and forget this whole thing ever happened. [Giggles]
Chameleon Sr: Aww, that’s real sweet of you, kid. The only problem is, I’m a forgetful guy, and I don’t like sharing. [Eats K.O.]
K.O.: Noo! [Inside Chameleon Sr] Aw, whipple dip-dipple! Swallowed by a giant dad. I can’t see a thing. I guess I’ll just eat a burrito and wait until he opens his mouth aga— [His burritos falls into Chameleon Sr’s stomach] Flippy-whip-whippy! I dropped all of my burritos. Ain’t gonna get those back. [A substance rises] Oh, hey, a light. [Chameleon Sr. sweats and heats] Hey, wa—wait, wa-wait. [Chameleon Sr. breathes out fire and K.O.] Aah!
Chameleon Sr: Baaaah!
K.O.: Aaaaaaaaaaah! [Hangs on a zipper]
Chameleon Sr: Oh, no, no. No, no. No. [K.O. unzips Chameleon Sr.’s skin and Carol comes out of it]
Carol: [Gasps] Oh, my.
K.O.: Huh? [Gasps]
Chameleon Sr: Oh, no. My skin! Oh, no, no. Uh… [Whimpers]
Chameleon Jr: Dad? What— What’s going on?
Chameleon Sr: [Grabs his son to tell him] Son, okay, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. [Sighs] Listen closely, Chameleon Jr.— Now, I know you brag to your reptilian gang about your old Pap here being a super-cool kaiju chameleon. But I’m really just a large man in a rubber costume. I am sorry.
Chameleon Jr.: Um, why didn’t you just tell me?
Chameleon Sr: I— [Sighs] I just wanted to be the best giant-lizard dad I could be for you.
Chameleon Jr.: [Hughs his dad] Aw, shucks, Dad, I don’t care what you look like. You beat up other dads and keep me safe. You’re the best dad any lizard could ask for.
Chameleon Sr: Oh, son. [Sighs. Puts on a hat and his son] Let’s go home. [Walks away]
K.O.: Wow. I guess there are all sorts of different families, huh?
Carol: There sure are, sweetie. Looks like you’ve learned a valuable lesson today, K.O..
K.O.: Yeah. Seems like inside every bully is a big, sweaty, troubled man.
Carol: True. And you learned you shouldn’t escalate situations you can’t handle. [Pokes K.O.’s nose] [Laughs]
K.O.: So, does this mean I’m not grounded anymore?
Carol: Oh, no. [Laughs] You’re still grounded. [Ruffles K.O.’s hair]
K.O.: Oh. But, Mom, you escalated things with a power battle.
Carol: Huh. Then I guess I’m grounded, too.
K.O.: Huh? [Laughs] [Hops into Carol’s arms] You grounded yourself, Mom.
Carol: [Kisses K.O.] Then I guess I can’t take you out for surprise ice cream, either. Oh, well.
K.O.: No! Unground yourself. Unground yourself!
[The episode ends]