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This is a transcribed copy of "Let's Not Be Skeletons".

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Previous: "Mystery Science Fair 201X" Next: "Lad & Logic"
Speaker Dialogue
[The episode starts off with Enid, Rad, and K.O. unpacking inventory from the truck while Mr. Gar records the inventory]
Mr. Gar Gar-brand shellfish meat, Gar-brand gummy vitamins, Gar-brand toe socks, Gar-brand soap, Gar-brand—[A car passes by colliding with the truck and crashes] My… products! [The car backs up. Bo comes out with an amp] You! [He grabs Bo] You destroyed my wares! Why— Is that… is that an amp? [Gil Ferris looks out Mr. Gar arguing from the head mirror] Is this supposed to pay me back, [Gil Ferris turns the mirror] for thousands you cost me?! Tobby’s pickles, laser forks, shaving beams, all gone! [Gil Ferris steps out]
Gil Easy, daddy. [Titlecard appears] Where’s the fire?
K.O. Over there. [Pans to the truck on fire] Consuming the truck you smashed.
Gil Hey, good eye, short-pants.
Mr. Gar [Approaches to Gil] So you’re the one who brought this destruction.
Gil Destruction? No, I’m here to bring unto you the future.
Enid Dang, look at all that ice.
Rad Yeah. Nice plump fingers, too.
Mr. Gar I don’t know what you’re selling, buddy, but we got two rules here at the Plaza— no destruction of property, barring emergencies, and no soliciting.
Gil Solicit? Sir, you offend me. [Tosses his business card to Mr. Gar] And this is an emergency.
Mr. Gar There’s no emergency.
Gil Isn’t there? Give me a “C”, Bo.
[Bo whips out his guitar and Gil grabs one of the boxes of soap from Rad, sets it down, and steps on top]
Gil Well, you got problems. Problems right here in Lakewood. [Crowd approaches] Yes, sir, you got barrelfuls of crime. And I tell you it ain’t good. ‘Cause you got villains who come and fight [Images of Darrell, Shannon, and Raymond are shown] Keep you up all hours at night. And I tell ya, it’s enough to make a fella feel unsafe. [Gertie gasps and holds tight to her children] Well, now, I hear ya. Ya say, partner, stop complain’ [More crowd comes] Well, gather’ round, open up your ears. I’ll start explainin’. ‘Cause I brought me a solution. And I’ll start a revolution. With the most amazing product [pulls out the Skeleton Remote out] called a Skeleton Remote.
Neil Skeleton Remote?
Gil That’s right! Skeleton Remote. It’s the best thing ever invented, but, uh [shows rings] I don’t mean to gloat. ‘Cause it’ll keep you safe where evil lurks. It’s user-friendly, tiny quarks. Come on ‘round, and I’ll show you how it works. [Grabs Potato to demonstrate it, while Bo pushes Big Bull Demon to be demonstrated on] Well, you hold that remote up in the air. See that villain right over there. [Puts a hat on Potato] Pull down on your ten-gallon brim. He’s eyeing you, and eyeing him. [Pushes the button on the remote] Pow! You watch that laser fly. Bam! You hit ‘em between the eye. [Big Bull Demon turns into a skeleton] Now he’s just a skeleton. [Pushes the skeleton out with his cane] And your problems melt away. Thanks to—
Choir Skeleton Remote!
Gil That’s right!
Choir Member Skeeeeleton Remote, ooh!
Crinkly Wrinkly Does it have any other uses?
Gil No! It only has the one. But it’s the only one you’ll ever need. [Enid and Rad tries to grab the remote] It’ll keep you safe from evil deeds. [Carts of Skeleton Remotes rolled in front] Ya won’t get harmed if you get armed. With a Skeleton Reeeeemooooote. [Backdrop rolls in] [Crowd comes in to buy it] Skeleton Remoooooote. No refunds.
[Next scene shows the Bodega with Enid playing around the Skeleton Remote turning stuffs into skeletons while Enid laughs]
K.O. Uh, that seems really dangerous.
Rad [Throws his remote up in the air] Yeah, Enid. Quit running around like a weirdo.
Enid Oh, you mean, like you? [Points her remote to Rad]
Rad Ahh! No, please— [Zaps Enid into a skeleton]
K.O. Enid!
Enid Rad, you doofus! It was a joke! [Turns Rad into a skeleton]
K.O. Rad!
Rad Ahh! My beef! It’s all gone! You’re gonna pay! [Fails to laser zap Enid]
K.O. Your powers are gone!
Enid That’s okay. The Skeleton Remote is our power now.
K.O. No, no, no, no, no, no! [Jumps off the counter] That remote is bad, I tell you. Just wait here. I’m gonna get you both back to normal!
Rad Half day?
Enid Yeah, sure.
[Rad and Enid walks out the Bodega]
K.O. [Knocks on Mr. Gar’s door] Mr. Gar! Mr. Ga-a-ar! Mr. Gar, please, you in there?
[Mr. Gar wears headphones and shoots Lord Boxman cut-out with his Skeleton Remote]
K.O. Oh… [Heads out of the Bodega] All right, there’s got to be someone around here who knows how to fix this. [Bumps into Neil]
Neil Aah! Oh, it’s you. Uh, how can I help, citizen?
K.O. Do you know how to change back from a skeleton?
Neil K.O., there are bigger problems here! There’s villains everywhere. You can’t— Aah! [Shoots Brandon and A Real Magic Skeleton] Oh! Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry.
A Real Magic Skeleton Eh, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.
Brandon You call this fine?! [Munches on chips] I don’t have a mouth ‘cause of him!
A Real Magic Skeleton There, there, you’ll adjust… in time.
Neil Sorry about that K.O. K.O.?
K.O. [Runs] Unh! Got to find someone who can fix Rad and Enid…
Fish Dude Perhaps I can help. After all—[Turns into a skeleton] Never mind. [Whistles]
Neil Sorry! I thought he was attacking you. [Shoots up] Sorry. I said I was sorry! [Runs]
K.O. Dendy! [Sees that Dendy turned into a skeleton] Aah! Got to find a way to solve this problem! [Gasps] That’s it!
Gil [Gives the Skeleton Remote to Drupe] Thank you kindly, stranger.
K.O. Mr. Problem Solver!
Gil What do you want, Tall-socks?
K.O. Is there any way to change back from a skeleton?
Gil Oh, no. No, it’s totally irreversible.
K.O. You mean my friends will be skeletons forever?!
Gil Wouldn’t be a very good product if it didn’t do what I sang, now would it? Thank you kindly, stranger.
Darrell No, thank you! [Running willy-nilly with the Skeleton Remote] One death ray, please.
Gil Skeleton Remote.
K.O. Wait.
Gil And thank you—
[Darrell runs willy-nilly with the Skeleton Remote]
K.O. I thought you sang these were for heroes.
[Crowd approaches]
Skeleton 1 The kid’s right! What are you trying to pull?
Gil Whoa, folks! There’s no need to worry. ‘Cause you’ll have all the power. Be the heroes of the hour. [Bo pushes a button] With the brand-new 3-pronged automatic Skeleton Remote. [Shows a shelf of 3 pronged Skeleton Remotes] Available exclusively to heroes.
Skeleton 1 Oh, okay, that makes sense.
[Crowd pays for the other Remotes but blasts them. Gil is being carried from the crowd]
K.O. You’re not a problem solver. You’re a problem creator!
Gil Think I should change my card?
K.O. Oh… E-Everyone’s gone cuckoo! [Darrell chases Drupe with a Skeleton Remote] Whoa!
Crinkly Wrinkly Ooh! Sorry, K.O.! Still trying to figure out how to work this doodad—[Pushes a button and turns into a skeleton] Oh! Figured it out.
Ernesto Out of my way! [trying to blast Neil while Neil tries to blast him]
Neil Yes!
[Raymond and Punching Judy are chasing each other. Colewort and Shannon. Darrell and Drupe, Red Action, and Gregg and Nick on top shooting each other]
Darrell I’ll never give this power up!
K.O. I guess there’s only one thing left I can do. Everything is bad now and there’s nothing I can do about it! [Carol mediates]
Carol Things might seem bleak, but you still can’t give up.
K.O. I can’t?
Carol Of course not. You’re a hero and a hero’s got to be there for all the people who still have meat on their bones.
K.O. That’s true. Maybe I could talk to people about returning their remotes. I don’t know. Maybe that’s dumb.
Carol What’s the worst that could happen from trying? Certainly nothing worse than if you— [A beam hits Carol turning her into a skeleton] Don’t.
Gil There’s still plenty of remotes for everyone.
K.O. Thaaat’s it! [kicks Gil] My fellow Lakewood Plazians, lend me your ears and I’ll… Oh, uh… Four score and seven, eight, ah…
Skeleton 1 Is that boy saying something?
Skeleton 2 I don’t really listen to people unless they’re singing.
K.O. Singing? Hey, um… Could you, um… [Bo turns his guitar to a keyboard] Oh! Okay, thanks. Look at what you’ve all become. A bunch of heartless skeletons. Zapping people on a dime. No matter if it fits the crime. Oh, you can never take it back. Once what’s done is done. All your lives are out of whack. As a skeleton. So I plead with you, Plaza folks. Please turn in all of your remotes. [Shows a bin and opens the lid] We could make the plaza safe for all. So what do you say? Let’s end this brawl!
Crowd No way!
Skeleton 1 It keeps me safe from dangers!
Crowd No way!
Skeleton 1 There could be evil strangers!
Crowd No way!
Skeleton 2 Then I’m keeping mine, too!
Crowd No way!
Skeleton 2 To protect me from you!
K.O. Well, what about rules and regulations. For when, where, and how they’re used? Ban this remote from all situations. [Shows pictures of remote not allowed in school, park, and Lakewood Plaza] Where it can be abused?
Mr. Gar That infringes on individual liberty! And I won’t take responsibility. For the folks behaving like fools. Why should I follow your rules?
Carol [Shows a child with a Skeleton Remote] ‘Cause all these fools are running wild, Gene. I’ve been reduced to this. And is it all worth my boy feeling sad. When he can’t get a good night kiss?
K.O. [On a rope with wings] Now there’s bones in all the spaces. Where I once saw friends’ smiling faces. What more can I do. To convince all of you. [Bo moves the rope] This remooote must b-e-e-e contro-o-olled? This remo-o-ote must be-e-e con— [Someone shoot the rope turning into a skeleton]
Neil You can have this remote when you pry it from my cold, hard, skeleton hands!
[Crowd angers are starts shooting K.O. and turns the stage into a skeleton]
K.O. [Runs] Ahhhh! [Enters the Bodega]
[Mr. Gar and Neil runs into the Bodega while the crowd still finds K.O.]
Mr. Gar No use hiding, K.O.
Neil Yeah!
K.O. [A laser turns a can into a skeleton] Huh?
[Mr. Gar and Neil holds their Remotes out]
Mr. Gar End of the line, son.
K.O. I… I’m too young to be a skeleton! [Throws a can and turns into a skeleton]
Mr. Gar You should’ve that before you threatened our rights! [Repeatedly turns cans into skeletons]
Neil Yeah, what he said. [A can is tossed at him and drops his Remote] Hey!
K.O. [Holds out the remote] S-Stay back. I-I mean it.
Mr. Gar [Holds out his remote] Easy now, K.O. Let’s not do anything we might regret.
K.O. Isn’t it already too late for that?
Neil Oh, just do it already!
[K.O. shoots but realizes that it was just a dream]
K.O. Ahhhh!
Carol K.O.? Is everything all right?
K.O. Mommy! [Carol hugs him] Your eyeballs! Your hair! Even your skin!
Carol What in corn’s name are you—
K.O. My dream! There were these remotes that could zap people into skeletons forever! And Enid got zapped and then Rad, a-and then you! And then Mr. Gar tried to zap me, too, and I— I…[Cries]
Carol Okay, K.O. You know Mr. Gar would never hurt you.
K.O. Yeah, but it was so scary. I-I don’t want anything like that to ever get in the hands of the public.
Carol Well, you know what I always say— if you’re concerned with public safety, call your local Congressman. [Winks]
K.O. That’s a great idea!
Congress Woman Let me just approve your application here… [Hears about a phone ringing when she’s about to stamp an application] That’s a call from one of my constituents. I have to take this! [Picks up phone] Congresswoman here. Mm-hmm. Skeleton Remote? I’ll deal with it right away. [Hangs up] Sorry, Mr. Ferris, but your request is denied! [Stamped the application]
Gil W-W-Wha?
Congress Woman [Writes on application] Furthermore, Skeleton Remotes are now illegal forever! [Uses a pole to hit the chalkboard]
Gil Now, hang on, ‘cause… You and me can work it out—
Congress Woman [Pushes Gil] No, no, no. Now get out of here before I make musicals illegal, too! [Slams the door] [Flys to her desk] Ahh.
[The episode ends]

Pilot Lakewood Plaza Turbo
Shorts KOEnidRadCarolEnid's Bad DayBarrels and CratesRad CriesRad's VanCommercialPower-Up!!!DendyBoxmore Infomercial
Season 1 A: Let's Be HeroesLet's Be FriendsYou're Everybody's SidekickWe Messed UpJethro's All YoursYou're Level 100!I Am DendySibling RivalryYou Get MeDo You Have Any More in the Back?Just Be a PebblePresenting Joe CuppaMy Dad Can Beat Up Your DadWe've Got PestsYou Are RadLegends of Mr. GarWe Got HackedPlazalympicsWe're CapturedKnow Your MomFace Your FearsEverybody Likes Rad?You Have to CarePlaza PromT.K.O.

B: Stop Attacking the PlazaPlaza ShortsWe've Got FleasOne Last ScoreSecond First DateNo More Pow CardsLet's Watch the PilotA Hero's FateGlory DaysParents DayLet's Have a StakeoutThe Power Is Yours!Rad Likes RobotsKO's Video ChannelVillains' Night OutVillains' Night InBack in Red ActionOK Dendy! Let's Be K.O.!Let's Take a MomentRMS & Brandon's First EpisodeMystery Science Fair 201XLet's Not Be SkeletonsLad & LogicAction NewsYou're in Control

Season 2 A: Seasons ChangeLord Cowboy DarrellHope This FliesThe Perfect MealPlaza Film FestivalBe a TeamMy Fair CarolPoint to the PlazaThe So-Bad-icalLet's Watch the Boxmore ShowYour World is an IllusionRed Action to the FutureT.K.O.'s HouseSpecial DeliveryDendy's PowerWisdom, Strength And CharismaBittersweet RivalsAre You Ready for Some Megafootball?!Mystery SleepoverFinal Exams

B: Soda GenieCarolQuestBoxman CrashesCrossover NexusPlaza AloneAll in the VillainyMonster PartyGarQuestSuper Black FridayWhacky JaxxyzSidekick ScoutsProject Ray WayI Am JethroBeach EpisodeRad's Alien SicknessKO's Health WeekGar Trains Punching JudyOK A.U.!Dark Plaza

Season 3 We Are HeroesKO, Rad, and Enid!Let's Meet SonicTKO RulesK.O. vs. FinkChip's DamageThe K.O. TrapWhatever Happened to... Rippy Roo?Planet XDeep Space VacationBig RevealRadical RescueYou're a Good Friend, KOLet's Get ShadowyRed Action 3: Grudgement DayCarlDendy's Video ChannelLet's Fight to the EndThank You for Watching the Show
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