Transcript
- View the episode's transcript here.
[The episode starts off with Rad filming himself]
Rad: Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. [Launches a rocket] Blorp! [Face plants on his camera] Rad rocket’s on the roof— [Enid laughs] Blorp! [Enid laughs even more] [Titlecard appears] [Enid laughs as she shows the video to Rad] Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp!
K.O.: [Drops his broom] Oh, no! Rad, you accidentally forgot to cut out the part where you fall through the roof!
Rad: [On the roof] Are you kidding? [Levitates off the roof] Whoa! This video is a work of art, K.O.. Every detail is perfect. The setup, the unexpected nature of the fall, the way the rocket launch gets cut off at the end… Mwah! You couldn’t plan something that good.
Enid: I got to hand it to you, Rad. I can’t not' share this.
Rad: See, K.O.? The joke may be on me, but it’s still my joke. [Rubble falls on him] Blorp!
K.O.: Rad!
Enid: [laughs] You’re on a roll today.
[K.O. picks up the debris to find Rad’s head gasping for air]
Rad: Please tell me you got that on video. [On phone taking out the trash] Blorp! [Chuckles] So good. [Throws the trash away] [Smacks lips] Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. [Hides phone away]
Brandon: Dude!
[Drupe, Brandon, and A Real Magic Skeleton approaches to Rad]
Rad: Hey, guys. What’s up?
Brandon: Your new video was genius!
Rad: You guys saw it?
Drupe: Yeah. I loved when you were all, “Blorp!”
[Drupe, Brandon, and A Real Magic Skeleton laughs]
Brandon: “Blorp.”
A Real Magic Skeleton: So good.
Brandon: Blorp, so is that like a Planet X thing?
Rad: Well, sure, but physical comedy is universal. That old thing is going around, huh? I, uh, haven’t checked in a while. [Leans on a garbage can] You know, busy.
Drupe: Are you kidding? It’s blowing up.
A Real Magic Skeleton: Yeah, dude, everyone is sharing it.
Rad: Blorp! [The view count increases] Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. Huh. That’s cool. You know— [A pterodactyl drops an egg on Rad. Loses Balance] Whoa! [The egg cracks]
[Drupe, Brandon, and A Real Magic Skeleton laughs]
A Real Magic Skeleton: Classic!
Brandon: Total “blorp” moment!
[Continues laughing]
Rad: Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. See? Blorp! [Shows phone to Enid] I told you it would take off.
Enid: You do know I’m the one who shared the video in the first place, right?
K.O.: Wow, Rad! That’s so cool. [Shakes Enid] I can’t believe we have a friend who’s Internet famous. Rad, what are you gonna do with all your newfound fame and glory?
Enid: I can only imagine the possibilities. Like, maybe he’ll check his phone all night. Or maybe he’ll check his phone all night.
Rad: This isn’t just a phone, Enid. This is the birthplace of my empire. [Still seeing the video] Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp! [Night time passes] Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp! [Sun rises] Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp!
[K.O. and Enid enters the Bodega]
Enid: And then I was all, “Confiscate my foot, teach!” And, Rad, you did the thing didn’t you?
Rad: My public needs me. Blorp!
Enid: You’re hopeless.
K.O.: Psst! Enid! [Enid turns around] I think Rad’s getting addicted to attention from strangers.
Enid: Ugh. Yeah. This could be really bad.
K.O.: Bad? Why bad?
Enid: Remember the video of that guy who bungee-jumped off Danger Bridge?
[Next scene shows a person bungee jumping and a dragon setting him on fire]
K.O.: [Laughs] Yeah! That was hilarious!
Enid: Yeah, but people only liked it for the one part where he caught on fire. Now he has to be on fire all the time to stay popular. Does that sound like a happy life to you?
[The person from the video lighting on fire is shopping]
K.O.: Hmm… No, I guess not.
Enid: I wonder what people are getting out of Rad’s video? I mean, it’s funny to us ‘cause we know him, but who are these other people, and why do they like it?
K.O.: Maybe they like it because it’s perfect comedy, like Rad said.
Enid: I hope that’s true. Anyway, I’m pretty sure his 15 minutes of fame are almost up. [Rad still sees the phone]
[The next scene shows an event called “Radcon 201X” with a tent holding the event. Mr. Gar is the guard of the event. A couple of people are in line. Enid holds by the antennae stand and K.O. holds by the shirts stand. A text shows up “15 Minutes later”. The audience is sitting while Neil is the host reading the speech from index cards]
Neil: Good afternoon, fellow Radniks! Welcome to Radcon, the first annual convention celebrating everyone’s favorite social media sensation. He’s, uh, actually the only speaker we have planned, so let’s give him a warm welcome! Blorp your hands together for Radicles! Blorp!
Rad Fan: Radicles, I love you!
[Audience cheers and applause. Neil claps as Rad approaches to head the event. Neil leaves]
Rad: Thanks, Neil. [Clears throat. Levitates the microphone] [Audience cheers and applauses] Hello, Lakewood Plaza Turbo! What an honor it is to be her at Radcon 201X. I’m so happy to be among people who recognize my comedic genius and—
Pird: Say “blorp”!
[Audience cheers and applause]
Rad: [Laughs] Right, right. That part was pretty sick, huh? But what really makes it funny is everything leading up to the “blorp.” For instance—
Pird: He said blorp!
[Audience cheers and applause]
Rad: Uh, yeah… I mean, but there’s the setup…
Rad Fan: Hey, Rad! Rad!
Rad: …and, uh, the timing, and—
Rad Fan: Rad! Do “blorp” again!
Rad Dad: Yeah, “blorp”!
Baby: Blorp!
Rad: Is that really all you guys like about it?
[Crowd chants “blorp”]
Rad: [Thinking] My fans, they don’t want to hear about my process. All they care about is—
Zombie Like Fan: Blorp!
Rad: Aahh!
Zombie Like Fan and Zombie Like Female Fan: Blorp! Blorp!
[Crowd still chants “blorp”]
Rad: [Gets out of the tent] Man, those guys really don’t get it!
[A couple of fans sticks out their heads of the tent saying “Blorp!”. Rad walks out]
Rad: [Looks at his phone looking at a couple of videos and memes] Aw.
Brandon: [A frisbee hits him]] Blorp! [He and A Real Magic Skeleton laughs] Did you get that?
Rad: Ew. Ah, come on! That doesn’t even make grammatical sense! [Throws his phone] Who knew people could be so dumb about art they love so much? I guess it’s time to retire back to the quiet dignity of consuming content instead of making it.
Director: [Drives by] Radicles, baby! Why so turquoise? Ha! Ha!
Rad: I—
Director: [Shushes Rad] Don’t answer that, kid! Just funnin’ you! Look, I know what’s got you down. You’re big. Too big for those tiny phone screens. And I just so happen to know of a screen that is big enough! Oh, yes, the big screen. What do you think of big-budget movies?
Rad: Movies? [Jumps] I love movies!
Director: Thanks! I made them!
Rad: Wha?
Director: Oh, that’s right! I am a big-shot Hollyzone director. And I think you have the right stuff. The kind of stuff people willy pay big bucks to see. What do you say?
Rad: [Hops onto Director’s arm] Sign me up! [Grabs the contract] If watching movies is fun, [Signs the contract] making movies must be, like, fun-thousand!
[Next scene shows Rad’s dressing room. Rad prepares himself]
Female Crew: Hey, Rad. We’re ready for you on set.
[Rad hopes into the rocket prop. The crew members set the movie. Rad reads his script]
Rad: Blorp. Blorp? Blorp. [Sings] Blorp. [Inhales deeply] Bloooorp.
Director: Okay, Rad! This is your big moment! Your tail section’s just been shot out. You’re plummeting through the stratosphere. It doesn’t look like your ship’s gonna make it. Give me action. Give me drama. Are you ready? [Rad nods yes] And action!
Rad: Aahh. [Rocket blows up] Blorp.
Director: And cut! Oh, fantastic job, Rad, just fantastic. All right, now let’s take it from the top of page 52.
Rad: [Reads his script] All right, uh, new scene. Hmm. [Turns the pages to see his only lines are “blorp.”] This is a pretty, uh, repetitive script, huh? Got a few questionable choices here and there. Uh, but, you know, who am I to judge? [The last line says “Blorp me to your leader!”] Wha? You’ve got to be kidding me! [Leaves the stage]
Director: Radicles? Pal-sy?
Rad: [Looks on his phone for more social media] [Sighs] Man. [Turns off phone] Ugh.
Director: Rad! Radicles! Hey, what happened, baby? We need you out there.
Rad: You said this was gonna be a life-changing role, but I don’t know. I thought I’d get to do more than just the basic alien stuff. I mean, I get it. But this all feels kind of stereotypical.
Director: Oh, Rad, Rad, my sweet little fledgling baby pterodactyl. Everyone in this town is a stereotype. Look at me— big-budget director! Oh, and look at my actors. The hapless funnyman. The attractive woman. The loyal yet doomed pet. The strong attractive woman. The rugged yet charming leading man. And now… the hilarious bumbling alien! You!
Rad: But you guys don’t get it. I was being funny on purpose. It’s not just funny because I’m an alien. Look, just give me a chance. I think that if we worked together, we could make this character something new and special. We could make a cooler alien in a cooler movie.
Director: I understand you completely, Radicles.
Rad: Wait. Really?
Director: Oh, yes. And I think I know just what we need.
[Next scene shows Rad walking to the Bodega with his stuff. Enid and K.O. play cards.]
Enid: Rad.
K.O.: What happened to being a movie star?
Enid: Yeah, what happened to your “empire”?
Rad: I, uh, just did some thinking, and… And I realized that I’m better than all that. [Chuckles] Who needs fame and followers when I have friends like you guys, right?
Enid: So you got fired, huh?
Rad: [Sighs] Worse. I got recast.
Male Lead: Aha! Messa bleep-blorp. Take me to your leader. Glip-glap. Ha ha! Blorp me up! Blorpity-blorp-blorp! Ha ha!
[The movie ends]
Enid: Ugh. That is not okay. You really dodged a bullet there.
K.O.: So what do we do with this horrible movie?
Enid: Hmm.
[K.O., Enid, and Rad go to a volcano]
Rad: Well, thank you for joining me at this… active volcano.
K.O.: We’re here for you, Rad.
Enid: [Puts her hand on Rad’s shoulder] We’re gonna do what needs to be done.
Rad: [Tosses the movie to the lava] All right, let’s go get some lunch.
[The episode ends]