Everybody Likes Rad?/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Everybody Likes Rad?". Feel free to add contents to this page, as long as information comes from the episode.

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Next: "You Have to Care"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Rad is filming himself]
Rad	Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. [Launches a rocket] Blorp! [Face plants on his camera] Rad rocket's on the roof— [Enid laughs] Blorp! [Enid laughs even more] [Titlecard appears] [Enid laughs as she shows the video to Rad] Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp!
K.O.	[Drops his broom] Oh, no! Rad, you accidentally forgot to cut out the part where you fall through the roof!
Rad	[On the roof] Are you kidding? [Levitates off the roof] Whoa! This video is a work of art, K.O. Every detail is perfect. The setup, the unexpected nature of the fall, the way the rocket launch gets cut off at the end... Mwah! You couldn't plan something that good.
Enid	I got to hand it to you, Rad. I can't not share this.
Rad	See, K.O.? The joke may be on me, but it's still my joke. [Rubble falls on him] Blorp!
K.O.	Rad!
Enid	*laughs* You're on a roll today.
[K.O. picks up the debris to find Rad's head gasping for air]
Rad	Please tell me you got that on video. [On phone taking out the trash] Blorp! *chuckles* So good. [Throws the trash away] *smacks lips* Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. [Hides phone away]
Brandon	Dude!
[Drupe, Brandon, and A Real Magic Skeleton approaches to Rad]
Rad	Hey, guys. What's up?
Brandon	Your new video was genius!
Rad	You guys saw it?
Drupe	Yeah. I loved when you were all, "Blorp!"
[Drupe, Brandon, and A Real Magic Skeleton laughs]
Brandon	"Blorp."
A Real Magic Skeleton	So good.
Brandon	Blorp, so is that like a Planet X thing?
Rad	Well, sure, but physical comedy is universal. That old thing is going around, huh? I, uh, haven't checked in a while. [Leans on a garbage can] You know, busy.
Drupe	Are you kidding? It's blowing up.
A Real Magic Skeleton	Yeah, dude, everyone is sharing it.
Rad	Blorp! [The view count increases] Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. Huh. That's cool. You know— [A pterodactyl drops an egg on Rad. Loses Balance] Whoa! [The egg cracks]
[Drupe, Brandon, and A Real Magic Skeleton laughs]
A Real Magic Skeleton	Classic!
Brandon	Total "blorp" moment!
[Continues laughing]
Rad	Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. See? Blorp! [Shows phone to Enid] I told you it would take off.
Enid	You do know I'm the one who shared the video in the first place, right?
K.O.	Wow, Rad! That's so cool. [Shakes Enid] I can't believe we have a friend who's Internet famous. Rad, what are you gonna do with all your newfound fame and glory?
Enid	I can only imagine the possibilities. Like, maybe he'll check his phone all night. Or maybe he'll check his phone all night.
Rad	This isn't just a phone, Enid. This is the birthplace of my empire. [Still seeing the video] Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp! [Night time passes] Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp! [Sun rises] Rad rocket's on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp!
[K.O. and Enid enters the Bodega]
Enid	And then I was all, "Confiscate my foot, teach!" And, Rad, you did the thing didn't you?
Rad	My public needs me. Blorp!
Enid	You're hopeless.
K.O.	Psst! Enid! [Enid turns around] I think Rad's getting addicted to attention from strangers.
Enid	Ugh. Yeah. This could be really bad.
K.O.	Bad? Why bad?
Enid	Remember the video of that guy who bungee-jumped off Danger Bridge?
[Next scene shows a person bungee jumping and a dragon setting him on fire]
K.O.	*laughs* Yeah! That was hilarious!
Enid	Yeah, but people only liked it for the one part where he caught on fire. Now he has to be on fire all the time to stay popular. Does that sound like a happy life to you?
[The person from the video lighting on fire is shopping]
K.O.	Hmm... No, I guess not.
Enid	I wonder what people are getting out of Rad's video? I mean, it's funny to us 'cause we know him, but who are these other people, and why do they like it?
K.O.	Maybe they like it because it's perfect comedy, like Rad said.
Enid	I hope that's true. Anyway, I'm pretty sure his 15 minutes of fame are almost up. [Rad still sees the phone]
[The next scene shows an event called "Radcon 201X" with a tent holding the event. Mr. Gar is the guard of the event. A couple of people are in line. Enid holds by the antennae stand and K.O. holds by the shirts stand. A text shows up "15 Minutes later". The audience is sitting while Neil is the host reading the speech from index cards]
Neil	Good afternoon, fellow Radniks! Welcome to Radcon, the first annual convention celebrating everyone's favorite social media sensation. He's, uh, actually the only speaker we have planned, so let's give him a warm welcome! Blorp your hands together for Radicles! Blorp!
Rad Fan	Radicles, I love you!
[Audience cheers and applause. Neil claps as Rad approaches to head the event. Neil leaves]
Rad	Thanks, Neil. [Clears throat. Levitates the microphone] [Audience cheers and applauses] Hello, Lakewood Plaza Turbo! What an honor it is to be here at Radcon 201X. I'm so happy to be among people who recognize my comedic genius and—
Pird	Say "blorp"!
[Audience cheers and applause]
Rad	*laughs* Right, right. That part was pretty sick, huh? But what really makes it funny is everything leading up to the "blorp." For instance—
Pird	He said blorp!
[Audience cheers and applause]
Rad	Uh, yeah... I mean, but there's the setup...
Rad Fan	Hey, Rad! Rad!
Rad	...and, uh, the timing, and—
Rad Fan	Do "blorp" again!
Rad Dad	Yeah, "blorp"!
Baby	Blorp!
Rad	Is that really all you guys like about it?
[Crowd chants "blorp"]
Rad	My fans, they don't want to hear about my process. All they care about is—
Zombie Like Fan	Blorp!
Rad	Aahh!
Zombie Like Fan & Shadamy	Blorp! Blorp!
[Crowd still chants "blorp"]
Rad	[Gets out of the tent] Man, those guys really don't get it!
[A couple of fans sticks out their heads of the tent saying "Blorp!". Rad walks out]
Rad	[Looks at his phone looking at a couple of videos and memes] Aw.
Brandon	[A frisbee hits him] Blorp! [He and A Real Magic Skeleton laughs] Did you get that?
Rad	Ew. Ah, come on! That doesn't even make grammatical sense! [Throws his phone] Who knew people could be so dumb about art they love so much? I guess it's time to retire back to the quiet dignity of consuming content instead of making it.
Director	[Drives by] Radicles, baby! Why so turquoise? Ha! Ha!
Rad	I—
Director	[Shushes Rad] Don't answer that, kid! Just funnin' you! Look, I know what's got you down. You're big. Too big for those tiny phone screens. And I just so happen to know of a screen that is big enough! Oh, yes, the big screen. What do you think of big-budget movies?
Rad	Movies? [Jumps] I love movies!
Director	Thanks! I made them!
Rad	Wha?
Director	Oh, that's right! I am a big-shot Hollyzone director. And I think you have the right stuff. The kind of stuff people will pay big bucks to see. What do you say?
Rad	[Hops onto Director's arm] Sign me up! [Grabs the contract] If watching movies is fun, [Signs the contract] making movies must be, like, fun-thousand!
[Next scene shows Rad's dressing room. Rad prepares himself]
Female Crew	Hey, Rad. We're ready for you on set.
[Rad hopes into the rocket prop. The crew members set the movie. Rad reads his script]
Rad	Blorp. Blorp? Blorp. ♪ Blorp. ♪ *inhales deeply* Bloooorp.
Director	Okay, Rad! This is your big moment! Your tail section's just been shot out. You're plummeting through the stratosphere. It doesn't look like your ship's gonna make it. Give me action. Give me drama. Are you ready? [Rad nods yes] And action!
Rad	Aahh. [Rocket blows up] Blorp.
Director	And cut! Oh, fantastic job, Rad, just fantastic. All right, now let's take it from the top of page 52.
Rad	[Reads his script] All right, uh, new scene. Hmm. [Turns the pages to see his only lines are "blorp."] This is a pretty, uh, repetitive script, huh? Got a few questionable choices here and there. Uh, but, you know, who am I to judge? [The last line says "Blorp me to your leader!"] Wha? You've got to be kidding me! [Leaves the stage]
Director	Radicles? Pal-sy?
Rad	[Looks on his phone for more social media] *sighs* Man. [Turns off phone] Ugh.
Director	Rad! Radicles! Hey, what happened, baby? We need you out there.
Rad	You said this was gonna be a life-changing role, but I don't know. I thought I'd get to do more than just the basic alien stuff. I mean, I get it. But this all feels kind of stereotypical.
Director	Oh, Rad, Rad, my sweet little fledgling baby pterodactyl. Everyone in this town is a stereotype. Look at me— big-budget director! Oh, and look at my actors. The hapless funnyman. The attractive woman. The loyal yet doomed pet. The strong attractive woman. The rugged yet charming leading man. And now... the hilarious bumbling alien! You!
Rad	But you guys don't get it. I was being funny on purpose. It's not just funny because I'm an alien. Look, just give me a chance. I think that if we worked together, we could make this character something new and special. We could make a cooler alien in a cooler movie.
Director	I understand you completely, Radicles.
Rad	Wait. Really?
Director	Oh, yes. And I think I know just what we need.
[Next scene shows Rad walking to the Bodega with his stuff. Enid and K.O. play cards.]
Enid	Rad.
K.O.	What happened to being a movie star?
Enid	Yeah, what happened to your "empire"?
Rad	I, uh, just did some thinking, and... And I realized that I'm better than all that. *chuckles* Who needs fame and followers when I have friends like you guys, right?
Enid	So you got fired, huh?
Rad	*sighs* Worse. I got recast.
Male Lead	Aha! Meesa bleep-blorp. Take me to your leader. Glip-glap. Ha ha! Blorp me up! Blorpity-blorp-blorp! Ha ha!
[The movie ends]
Enid	Ugh. That is not okay. You really dodged a bullet there.
K.O.	So what do we do with this horrible movie?
Enid	Hmm.
[K.O., Enid, and Rad go to a volcano]
Rad	Well, thank you for joining me at this... active volcano.
K.O.	We're here for you, Rad.
Enid	[Puts her hand on Rad's shoulder] We're gonna do what needs to be done.
Rad	[Tosses the movie to the lava] All right, let's go get some lunch.
[END]